Respect for other people should exist and be earned on an individual level, but that doesn’t mean differences of opinion and perspective based on things like appearance and gender don’t continue to present challenges.

In this classic Veterans Voices episode, host Mary Kate Soliva welcomes Mary Bell, the Co-founder and Chief Operating Officer for Team Themis and a Veteran of the United States Navy who joined at age 17. She spent her years in the Navy as a linguist, serving most of her time in Iraq but also being stationed in Africa and Afghanistan

In this episode the two “MKs” talk about Mary Bell’s 10 years of active duty and 13 years in the reserves:

• Which mentors and officers made the greatest impression on her and how those impressions became the source of lasting change
• The importance of following and maintaining the chain of command no matter what happens, personally or professionally
• Why you can’t take transition advice from someone who hasn’t transitioned from active duty to the reserves or from service to civilian life

Intro/Outro (00:02):

Welcome to veteran voices. A podcast is dedicated to giving a voice to those that have served in the United States, armed forces on this series, jointly presented by supply chain now, and vets to industry. We sit down with a wide variety of veterans and veteran advocates to gain their insight perspective and stories from serving. We talked with many individuals about their challenging transition from active duty to the private sector, and we discuss some of the most vital issues facing veterans today. Join us for this episode of veteran voices.

Mary Kate Soliva (00:43):

Good morning, Mary Kay Soliva with you with veteran voices. Thanks for joining us today. As we’ve got wonderful conversation teed up with a veteran and an advocate, sat tuned for a great discussion conversation. Uh, we’re doing a quick programming note before we get started. This program is part of supply chain. Now family of programming is conducted in partnership with our friends at one of my personal favorites. Vets to industry learn more about this powerful nonprofit that is serving so many folks@vetstoindustry.org and initiative near and dear to my heart, the Guam human rights initiative, find them on LinkedIn and the university of Guam under the regional center for public policy. Okay. I seriously have, I can’t wait any longer because this guest she’s my first guest, but also my very, very, very special friend. And this guest, she not only is the chief operating officer for team FEMA is also the co-founder and she is also a veteran of the United States Navy.

Mary Kate Soliva (01:49):

So without further ado, let’s welcome my very own favorite Mary Bell. ORAS I like to call her MK we’re double MKS today. Welcome. Welcome.

Mary Bell (01:59):

Thank you. Good morning, MK.

Mary Kate Soliva (02:01):

Good morning. I know. Was it, you said that it was like to talking to yourself earlier today. You let you saw a note. Yes. I thought I had texted myself and had I’m so busy. I thought for sure it had happened. I’d ripped myself a note, but it would know it was the other MK. It was you. So it was a nice surprise to start my day to remind me about our interview. I know I to think like looking down, like, I obviously want my first interview with myself. No, I’m just kidding. I was like, we’re gonna two MKS in the house. I’m just really excited everybody because I never ever meet another Mary Kay. And so like to meet another MK is just, you know, you, you just gotta take it for what it is when it happens.

Mary Kate Soliva (02:37):

So I really wanted to take this opportunity to introduce all of you to MK and get to know her a little bit better. So we’d like, I’d like to start know with a little bit of motivation, you know, since we’re both veterans here, I just, it took me back to thinking about basic training, getting that early motivation. I remember one time my drill instructor had me yell at somebody’s socks to get their socks for the morning. So even though this morning, my time late afternoon, MK, Tom, I wanted to start this out with a favorite quote by MK. So MK, can you start us off with a favorite motivational quote?

Mary Bell (03:12):

So one of my favorite motivational quotes is from the American revolutionary Thomas Payne. And if you’re not familiar were Thomas Payne. Um, he was recruited by American revolutionaries to come over from England. He was an Englishman and, um, he wrote common sense, which is one of the, um, the foregrounds for the American revolution. And he’s just an amazing human being. And one of my favorite quotes from him is that a real man, smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress and grows brave by reflection because it highlights all the things that we should do during the day. Even when our day is complete crap and things are going wrong, we smile through the pain. We gather our strength, cuz God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. And then afterwards we reflect on what we could have done better.

Mary Kate Soliva (03:52):

Oh my goodness. I love that. Now I feel amped. Do y’all feel pumped up? Cause I definitely do. I was like what, which aspect of that? The, the, the strength part is this, is this pre or post coffee for you? Are you a coffee drinker? MK.

Mary Bell (04:06):

Oh Lord. It’s three 30 in the afternoon where I am in Iman Jordan. I think I’m on cup of coffee number five. So yes, this is post decaffeinated, which everybody who knows me knows that’s dangerous, but yes, I’m highly motivated and awake right now.

Mary Kate Soliva (04:18):

I think it’s when they say that actually runs on coffee. So this is actually, that’s probably average five cup in a day. Um, but I really wanted to, to take this way back. Not way back, cuz you’re still, still, uh, the amazing MK that I know, but where did you grow up? I’m really excited to hear about your upbringing.

Mary Bell (04:40):

Oh wow. Yeah. We’ve never talked about this. Um, I am mil, I’m a military slash federal service brat. So I was kind of from all over, um, for the very beginnings of my life. I was born Indiana, so I’m a Hoosier, but I was raised for the most part in upstate New York, about an hour north of New York city. So I lived with my grandparents, um, after my parents divorced and uh, I was raised by them and they are two were two wonderful people, uh, that raised me. And that’s where I spent a majority of my life until I joined the Navy at 17

Mary Kate Soliva (05:06):

At 17. Wow. And how many my

Mary Bell (05:09):

Parents had to sign the paperwork that said, we agree to let her go. And they only did, like I said, if you don’t, I’m just gonna wait until I turn 18 and go anyway. So you might as well sign the paper.

Mary Kate Soliva (05:19):

That’s amazing. I, I see with this time of year, I, I don’t know about being in, in New York right now. Um, you know, having grown up in new England, my up in Maine, I was just, uh, I was ready to move south.

Mary Bell (05:32):

It is nice being in Mon Jordan because New York right now is still abominably cold. Um, and here in Jordan, it’s sunny and like 65 degrees outside.

Mary Kate Soliva (05:41):

Okay. I’m on the next,

Mary Bell (05:44):

We’ve gotta

Mary Kate Soliva (05:44):

Over to you. I wanna say. Um, what are some anecdotes or two, uh, from your upbringing?

Mary Bell (05:52):

So I mentioned, I was raised by my, mostly by my grandparents. My mom was a single mom and so she was there, but she was working two jobs gone all the time. And so my primary influences growing up were my two grandparents. Uh, my grandfather was a retiree from IBM. So he was with IBM from its very beginnings. And my grandmother was a retired maternity ward nurse at Vaser hospital. So two very accomplished, uh, persons. And I’d say the biggest thing I can remember as a general anecdote from my childhood is no matter who somebody was, whether they were mowing the grass or pumping gas or you know, a big up person in the mirror of the town. My, my grandparents treated everybody exactly the same. Um, the same level of respect, the same level of deference. Um, they didn’t care what they did. And I, I remember cuz you, you see things around certain people and people were act differently because in my opinion, aren’t raised right to people who are in what they would view as a lesser job.

Mary Bell (06:41):

And I wasn’t taught to, to do that. And if, if I ever had a question about it, I always got a response that was something very similar to doesn’t matter what somebody does, they deserve your respect until they prove they haven’t earned it. And so that’s how I treat everybody in my life. And um, that’s and the only anecdote I can think that like revolves around that is one time my brother and I were doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing in the back of a car. We were like making inappropriate hand gestures out the back window of our car. And we lived in a very small town. And um, the woman behind us got out at one of the few stoplights in our town and walked to the driver’s side of my grandfather’s car and told him what we were doing. And my grand grandpa, who is this kind respectful, loving person. I’ve never seen him so angry his entire life. And they took us home and it was very like reminiscent of your parents are so angry. They can’t find words. And they were just so floored that we would be so disrespectful to someone we didn’t know, like first time my life, I remember feeling like genuinely disappointed that I had hurt my grandparents. Um, but yeah, that, that lesson carried on that you respected anybody regardless and using inappropriate hand gestures while driving not a good go, not a good choice.

Mary Kate Soliva (07:46):

Oh, I love that about you, your anecdotes, especially from your, your grandparents, cuz I fortunately had, uh, I was able to grow up with both sets of mine or say all of mine. So really, and, and great grandmothers actually. So I got the really, um, wise, wise words or, you know, the wooden spoon came out. That was still a thing. And I

Mary Bell (08:08):

Don’t, I don’t know, know this, but my great-grandmother was from main, my family’s from Maine. So my, my grandfather grew up in Maine and my great-grandmother was an immigrant from Nova Scotia to Maine. And so I spent all my son in Maine and my great grandma with a wooden spoon was either for Macon cookies or whoop net. So like it was gonna be one of the two

Mary Kate Soliva (08:26):

I know like as long as the pancakes stay in the cast, iron frying pan were okay.

Mary Kate Soliva (08:33):

Gosh, what, I, I really love that, cuz that was something that I remember even from my aunt, um, she, she, um, works at at university and I remember just, she was vacuuming her office and like wrapping up her trash and I’m like, what are you doing? Don’t you have, um, aren’t there custodians here that will do that. And, and she’s like, you’re never beneath cleaning up after yourself. And I just remember like thinking of that, like, you know, fresh college kid and thinking like, what is she doing cuz she’s, you know, in her heels and her business outfit, I’m like, what are you doing? Um, but it was just a, you know, a real wake up call then to just, yeah, you just treat everybody with that kind of respect and dignity. Like we all end up having an important heart. So I really, I really love that. And especially, you know, coming in the milit, coming from the military where, what they like force us all to together, get along, even though we’ve got people from all across the country, some folks are from around the world and you’re just a melting pot together. So I wanna take this opportunity to talk about your time in of, you know, we got army veteran here, Navy veteran here. So, um, let’s talk about, um, you know, of course the branch that you served in and what did you do, where did you go?

Mary Bell (09:48):

So I served in the Navy, as you said. Um, my rate was we used words in the Navy. We’re the weird ones that don’t have numbers. And I was a cryptologic technician and interpretive was a really long winded way to say I was a linguist. Um, but they put that crypto logic part on the front because our jobs while we’re in are force protection, um, using technology to protect our forces forward. Um, so I spent my 20 years in doing exactly that I spent most of my time in Iraq. Um, a little bit of my time in Africa and then a little bit in Afghanistan, but most of the time I spent Iraq, I spent with group two in the Navy seals and some time with Navy seal development group and my primary job, um, for them while doing some interpretation, um, for detainees and other things like that, um, uh, field medical clinics, uh, interpreting for the people who were, um, unfortunately affected by the Warren in Iraq.

Mary Bell (10:35):

But most of it was providing real time force protection for our forces on the ground, um, which was an amazing opportunity. It gave me an a chance to really see what it means and looks like to keep, um, the people who work for a military safe and to really understand the value behind that. Um, I think most people take for granted that they think the military goes forward and there’s like this team of people behind 18 monitors that keeps a team of 15 safe. That’s not how it works. Usually one person behind the computer with a radio and they’re praying to God that, you know, their plan works and everybody comes home safely. So you get a really good appreciation for just how difficult it is and just how worthwhile it is because at the end of the day, you get to sign that form that said a hundred percent, you know, service, accountability, no casualties.

Mary Bell (11:12):

So that’s what I did during my time in the military. I only spent 10 years active duty. I spent my remaining through 13 in the reserves and that’s when I spent most of my time in Afghanistan. And, um, I wasn’t using my language skills so much because I’m an Arabic linguist and they speak Darri, uh, fare and Pushtu in Afghanistan, but I was able to use the technical skills that I was very blessed to receive in the military in Afghanistan to help keep our forces safe in the same capacity, um, working for us contractor. So that’s my career in a nutshell, and now I’m happily retired and I’m on Jordan with my husband.

Mary Kate Soliva (11:43):

And that’s fantastic. And, and even though that you, you say that you only did 10 years and even with the, the rest of the time reserves, you’re generally still serving now. And, and you have you come from a military family, a, a service of, of even your own husband, you say, talk a little bit about your, your family service.

Mary Bell (12:01):

Absolutely. So my grandfather, uh, was the first, he was in the army air Corps during world war II. Um, he, he served primarily in the Philippines and, uh, got out after four years of service. He was our first military veteran and then came my dad. My dad was in the Navy as well. He served, uh, a little bit of stint in Vietnam before he came home as well. And, um, that’s it from my direct side. And then, uh, being married, I am married to retired us Navy seal from development group and, uh, proud to say our son just graduated buds. And he is now half assigned at team 10 at Virginia Beach. So we are a full military family.

Mary Kate Soliva (12:37):

I love that. I love that so much. And, and every it’s like they, he stuck Navy too. I’m sure your, your husband was saying you were of incredible influence, uh, in his decision to go that route. And, uh, so it was such a long career and meeting for people from all over world. I mean, some people end up their whole military career and they don’t actually leave the United States. So the fact that you’ve been out outside of the country and around the world’s pretty incredible, but are there a couple, one or two people that really stick out to you as major influences, uh, in your military career? I’m sure it’s gonna be difficult to choose just a couple, but who sticks out to you?

Mary Bell (13:14):

I would, I would love to say it’s hard, but it’s not there. There’s only there’s oh,

Mary Bell (13:18):

Very small handful who really made an impression on me. Um, I have a very high standard for someone I look up to and I, I take the word of mentor very seriously. And so, because I had such wonderful examples of humanity and people growing up and my grandparents, the bar was set pretty high. Um, so, but I, I do have that handful of wonderful people that I can look back on and I still talk to most of them today. Some of them are like family, um, because they’re just such wonderful influences. Uh, but the two I can think of that stand out the most. Uh, one is a retired, um, gunny from the Marine Corps. His name is Louis Monson and he has known me since I was 18 years old at the defense language to learning Arabic. And then we deployed to Iraq together several years later.

Mary Bell (13:59):

And he came into my deployment time at a, a really critical time. I was a deployed mother for the first time. My daughter was four months old and I was on my first deployment to Iraq. I was not happy that I was away from my child, but I was very committed to serving my country. And within 48 hours of being in country, my daughter came down with a hundred, four degree fever. They couldn’t get a hold of her dad and they’re reaching me in a rock to try to like figure out what to do with my daughter. And I about lost my cool in the worst way possible. You can in a military deployment and Louis was able to calm me down, reenter me and help me understand what a military chain of command and what a military like teamwork, not just your chain of command, what a real chain of command does.

Mary Bell (14:38):

They support their sailor. They support their Marines. They support their soldiers and make sure they get what they need. And within two hours, my daughter was picked up by somebody from the command. They made sure she was okay, gave me peace of mind. And they coordinated that from 5,000 miles away. And it was all through, you know, Louie calming me down, gunny calming me down and letting me know that we were gonna take care of it. So he set the example in the bar for me, for what I wanted to be when I became a senior leader. Cause I was only an E five at the time. So he let me know like, this is what you do. When someone has a problem, you don’t panic, you don’t freak out. You maintain your calm, you execute, execute the, the operating procedure, follow the chain of command and you get things done.

Mary Bell (15:16):

Um, so in the military, he was a shiny example of how to do that with kindness, um, and with a smile on his face. And he really meant it. He wasn’t doing it because he was in charge of me. He was doing it because he cared and because he was in charge of me. So he’s probably my first. And um, my second is a salt yield master chief, um, whose, uh, name is de Luki female master chief. Um, she was one of the first female CTS to be assigned to a boat, which was unheard of, um, in the early nineties. Um, so she, she blazed the trail for females being Hayes, gray and underway as a CT, which is a really big deal. And she was probably the firmest. No BS, give it to you straight. If you mess something up, she’s gonna light you up like the 4th of July because you earned it.

Mary Bell (15:57):

And then she’s gonna tell you how to fix yourself after and help you grow into a leader that people can be proud to come to. So she set the bar for me for as far as like what it meant to not let the gender of, you know, I’m not a female chief, I’m not a female senior chief. I’m just a senior chief. And my job is to be senior chief to my sailors. It doesn’t matter that I’m a girl. It matters that I’m their leader. And she really helped define that for me. Um, and just knowing what she’d been through. And she did the whole thing with her hair held high and with these bouncy blonde, Shirley temple curls, like, and she just commanded respect in her room. And you’re like, how do you do that with like curly blonde hair? And she did. Um, so she was just a, an amazing example for me. And I, I think about her every time I have to deal with a really difficult situation, even now in the civilian world. And I have somebody who’s really upset and, and just not able to keep their calm, um, giving it to them a firm and fair answer that lets them know, you know, like, Hey, we’re here to support you, but you still have to do a job. Um, the knife hand, she was great for that. So I really love her. Yeah. And she was in the

Mary Kate Soliva (16:53):

That’s absolutely incredible. And I’m trying to imagine a smiling gutty. I, I don’t know how often I’ve seen that, but that’s, that’s pretty amazing. The fact you said

Mary Bell (17:03):

He’s from Alaska. I remember you just said you got back from Alaska six Alaskan. Who’s scary. Unless he smile.

Mary Kate Soliva (17:13):

Yeah. Actually everybody up there was so nice and, and uh, we ended up, um, watching the, the dog sledge race. So with the, I did rod, so it was really, really incredible, but that’s so cool. And then even with the, the fact that you said the, the bouncing blonde curls, now I’m imagining Shirley temple tapping, but the fact that she was able to command a room is, is absolutely incredible. Cause I, I think recently I had that conversation with some friends of mine about that about sometimes the women are tougher on other women when it comes to being in the military and I’m sure that’s in other workplaces as well, but being able to have that, um, role model at such an early stage in your career, I think is, is amazing.

Mary Bell (17:55):

One of, one of the things that was great about her too, was that it, it didn’t matter if you were a male or a female sailor, she gave you both guns the same way, which I know sometimes we see in our workforce, females are harder on other females and they are on their male counterpart because there’s this unannounced. Like you gotta be better. And I, I don’t describe that at all. You should treat everybody the same way regardless of what gender they are and, and base it off their skills and ability. And, you know, she was somebody who did that to a T and didn’t didn’t differentiate, differentiate, or make some kind of difference in how she treated people because they were a boy or a girl.

Mary Kate Soliva (18:29):

And, and did you see, did you see that you ended up, um, taking that to heart throughout your career? Was there a moment you, you can think on where that really came into play?

Mary Bell (18:39):

Hmm. So I primarily deploy with men. Um, there’s very rarely a female on deployment with me. And if anything, I deal with the opposite with, uh, I, I had deal with male sailors who didn’t feel like they needed to respect the authority of a female leader. Um, which is always interesting because I, you can tell like how we’re talking now. I always have a big smile on my face. I’m kind to everybody I meet until you mistake my kindness for weakness, and then you’re gonna have a bad day. Here we

Mary Kate Soliva (19:04):

Go. Here we go.

Mary Bell (19:07):

So I definitely had some times, uh, in my career where I was treat, treating somebody the same way I would treat anybody else, but they were treating me differently because I was a female. Um, and I had fortunately had to flip that switch where I was no longer Mary Bell. I was senior chief bell because I wasn’t about to have somebody think or act in a way that was contrary to military order and discipline because they thought because I was a female that changed the rules. So any of the specific examples I have are, are pretty boisterous and usually end with somebody yelling when they leave the room. Like I I’m, I was pretty sure twice during my interactions, I was gonna be sent home, um, for standing up for what was right. But thankfully I never was. Um, but yeah, I, I could just say in broad strokes, it usually was somebody underestimating me, not based on my rank position or my abilities, but because as they, they, they first saw me as a female before anything else.

Mary Bell (19:54):

Um, and I, I think there is, there is a little bit of truth to, you have to prove yourself as a female in the military world. Um, that is, that is, uh, I think an unfortunate reality in some aspects, the military’s getting much better about it. Um, but I’d be lying to say in my 20 plus year that didn’t experience some of that. But at no point when I did, was I not able to stand up up for myself and have the outcome be the right outcome? I never had to back down or like go tell somebody I couldn’t voice my opinions freely. And, and, and, and openly I used my chain of command. And when I used my chain of command, things went the way they were supposed to. I know that everybody can say that, but in my experience, that’s, that’s what I was had encountered. And I had positive outcomes after each one.

Mary Kate Soliva (20:32):

That’s fantastic. I, I mean, and you talk about, uh, we were talking just before we started recording about, about justice and like the, you know, and about your organization that you’re part of now. And I, I think that just in it’s, it’s so clear now about why you’re doing the work that you’re doing. I mean, you have like these great role models, even starting as early as your grandparents influence about treating everybody with respect and dignity. And if you see it not happening, the knife hands coming out and MK is slipping the switch and you really, really a keep for that justice for other people. But I wanna turn it around a little bit on, on just sort of the, your transition from the Navy into, um, and to being a civilian and just what that, what that looked like. Um, I am sure those role models stayed with you throughout that time as well. But do you have, um, if you were, are talking to, I’d say a room of, of active duty service members about the transition, uh, what are some, some points that you’d like to highlight about yours?

Mary Bell (21:38):

Well, I had two transitions, really. I had my transition from active duty to reserve time, which was quite a gut punch. Uh, no one, nothing can prepare you for the transition from active to reserve. And then I had my, my transition from reserve to retirement, uh, 13 years later. And I would say the biggest takeaway I have from either one of those is don’t ever let anybody who hasn’t transitioned tell you how to transition. Um, it it’s like someone, who’s not a doctor telling you how to treat like bronchitis. Like you’re not a doctor. Um, so if somebody comes into the room and like, it doesn’t matter what rank they’re, but they they’ve never left the military. They don’t know what the civilian job looks like. And they’re trying to give you advice on how to carve your future. After you leave, you need to find someone else to talk to.

Mary Bell (22:19):

There’s so many wonderful resources for transitioning veterans. Now, uh, we’re so fortunate to live in an age where, um, all you have to do is a stone throw, be a link or one of your contacts to your command. And you’re gonna find somebody who has been through what you’re going through and is gonna have Sage advice for your transition. And they’re gonna be happy to provide it because that, I really feel that culture of mentorship and leadership stays with you when you leave the military. And there’s so many people who wanna help now, and they’ve been wonderful and lucky enough to be able to channel that energy and those efforts into veterans transitions organizations. So I would say my best advice to them is find one of those organizations. Um, you’re, you’re having one right here. I’m sure there’ll be links below and links above for previous videos, for resources, for veterans who are making that transition, utilize those resources.

Mary Bell (23:02):

We’re trained in the military to kind of get things done yourself, but the good news is, is a veteran. Everybody wants to help you. So let, let them help you reach out. Use those resources. Literally, if you just Google veterans transition, you’re gonna have pages of sheets to go through of organizations who are literally there to make your life easier. Um, so go ahead and do that. And then I say the second point would be something I have heard a resounding tone, uh, throughout my civilian life. After leaving active duty was a negative connotation with having being previously military. Um, that’s in that, that connotation in some way, shape or form diminished my capability to do my job. And I always found that so perplexing, because anybody I’d worked with a civilian that was prior military was super easy to work with. They met deadlines, they were on time for work.

Mary Bell (23:50):

They were personable. They got along with everybody. Uh, the things we were talking about earlier were this melting pot from all over and were forced to get along. And that, that ethos travels with you when you leave the military. So I was dumbfounded by why people would think being military had some kind of negative connotation. So I would say, as you transition in a civilian life, if you are interviewing with a company or you’re talking to somebody and they’re viewing your time in the military as a weakness, it doesn’t add to your value. Then don’t work for that company. Cause they don’t understand what you bring to the table. They are literally getting a molded form discipline person who is ready to come to work and ready to get a job done, which in this day and age with, with, you know, the millennials, like you don’t find that every day. So you’re getting an asset with that person. So if you find one of those companies and they look at you and go, oh, you were military, it’s time to close that door and find somebody else because there’s so many companies out there that are itching to get somebody just like you, and they’re excited for your military service. So find somebody that’s just as excited as you are about having been in the military and served your country.

Mary Kate Soliva (24:51):

Yes, yes, yes, yes. To all of that. Um, I, I think is, and, and that was from your, your time even coming from active duty, but you also have experience coming off of, out of the reserves. And I started followed in that footsteps of yours because now I am in, in the reserves and coming off of active duty. And so I just transitioned last year in the middle of a pandemic. So a lot of your, the points that you made really hit home for me, even as I was trying to figure out what company do I wanna go for. And I was really trying to fit the mold of the companies that I was talking to, um, and putting a lot less emphasis on in my military career, but it turned out that, you know, a big part of why they won me in my current role is because of my military background.

Mary Kate Soliva (25:34):

So I think you’re absolutely right about being yourself and, and it, you know, shame on me if I don’t bring this up, but I have to, we have to highlight the very organization that brought us together. So like we do, we need to talk about them because Holt’s gonna come after us. Lindsay’s gonna say what in the world. So we gotta, we gotta talk about our beloved. The honor foundation is that’s really where, you know, going back at where MK and I really met up right, still with this ongoing pandemic. Um, and to your point about, uh, women, uh, female mentors, that was something that I felt like I, I greatly lacked as well in my military career being predominantly, uh, in roles were, uh, mainly men. And so having an opportunity in my transition to meet women like yourself, who, you know, without lack of better term, bad asses y’all are bad asses. And so to have the honor foundation, if you could tell us a little bit about that and then the role of, of, uh, what your peer voted for, um, let our audience know about that.

Mary Bell (26:41):

Sure. Uh, well, we should remind them at the end that they peer voted for both of us. So we’re just make, that’s an important port for us to bring up during this conversation. Um, so for our, about that, I, I highly doubt it. Um, so for our watch and viewers that don’t know what we’re talking about. The honor foundation is a wonderful resource for transitioning, a special operation port and operators who are getting ready to make that big life jump between the military time and civilian time. Um, I have never seen either my time in the military or since a program that better prepares people for making that transition and not feeling like they’re grabbing for straws or working, walking in a dark room. It is a group of, uh, former military operators, support volunteers who are so vested in making sure that the people who spent so much time and love giving to their country are given back by securing, um, opportunities for them in civilian employment and making sure they’re ready for those opportunities.

Mary Bell (27:37):

I got involved in THF through another one of my, uh, military Brelin brethren, his names, Ry Bower, Schmidt, look him up on LinkedIn. He convinced me to do the THF it’s meant for transitioning people. And I was like, technically transitioning. I was doing that, you know, reserve to retirement thing. And I remember he told me about the program and in my head, I was like, Ryan, I have a job. I’m like, I feel like I’m taking a spot from somebody else. And he’s like, no, no, you should do this. And I, I think within my first two meetings, they assigned me a female mentor. And I think I told you that bar is set pretty high in the back of my head. And I was like, mm, female mentor, this will be great. And I met with my coach and within like 30 minute, no three minutes, she had me dialed in like a book, like knew exactly my personality.

Mary Bell (28:22):

I had issues with like giving up control. I was an overachiever. I wasn’t sure why I was there and like in the best way possible, she let me know. I needed to let this THF process work for me to help me on my next step forward. And if I hadn’t gone through the, the honor foundation program, I literally wouldn’t be in the position that I am now doing the amazing things that I’m doing right now for refugees without them. Um, they, they do this wonderful program where they help you look at like your why, like, why are you who you are and why do you wanna do what you wanna do? And you come out of this program with this why statement? And a lot of military people go, oh, that’s kind of, kind of touchy, feely, uh, it’s effective. And it’s what huge companies use to make huge revenues.

Mary Bell (29:05):

So might be really touchy, feely, but it works. Um, and I came out of the program with my why and my why drives me every day to help more people to make connections, to continue doing what I’m doing. And, um, through that program, um, I was able to make friends that I will have for a lifetime and connections that will last me, my entire rest of my career and into my retirement. And I was very blessed during that process to have, um, the cohorts, mostly men, I think there was four women in my group. I think MK can probably say the same for hers. Yeah. About the same. And at the end of the cohort, they vote for an honor man or an honored woman. And it’s the person that, to them embodies what the honor foundation is supposed to be about mentorship, networking, supporting other veterans.

Mary Bell (29:48):

And I was so blessed to be selected by my peers and as was MK as the honor woman for my cohort, which was just, uh, and I can’t, I still can’t get over the fact that, that, uh, that they felt that way about me. And I I’m like, you know, what, and my why is about creating relationships, making meaningful contact and, and creating change in my world. And I did it with the honor foundation, not even knowing it, and then I’m doing it every day. It’s a, uh, it’s a wonderful thing that, uh, we were able to do together. And Mary Kate, and I shared that. And it’s, it’s a wonderful bond that I know her and I will probably have and old and gray and rock and on rock chairs in Maine.

Mary Kate Soliva (30:22):

Yes. Uh y’all yeah. Don’t forget what the rocking chairs in Maine. And I think that’s so amazing cuz when they connected me with you, they had also connected me, uh, was Shirley bias. Who’s also, um, she retired, retired for Sergeant who also was pure voted to be honor woman. And I think like to your point about it, it really felt special to have our peers who again, are also badass, like the special operators in the respective communities and here they are composting for us. And so, but it really, uh, speaks volumes to the, the amount of work that you put into the program. You really invest Sid yourself into it. And I think that those who do that really get the full benefits and reap the benefits of the honor foundation. And just again, like you said, friends for life a hundred percent, uh, I mean we even created our own group of, uh, just getting to connect with the other honor women.

Mary Kate Soliva (31:19):

So that’s fantastic. And I was say that finding my why was a huge part of that, of just being able to empower the next generation to, you know, to change their world. And I emphasize, emphasize their world when I was thinking about my why, because instead I really thought it was important to, instead of trying to fit in the mold of the rest of the society, that when you stand out and if you carry that short torch, like I know in the service we sheep dogs, we’re the defenders. But I think that opportunity when you get to step out and really figure out what you wanna do and you leverage those skills like you did with your, with your language skills and being able to use that as a force for good and a force for positive change in the world. And which is, is leads me to like really the, this is the meat and potatoes, what I’ve been waiting this whole conversation for us to talk about the work that you’re doing now, because I have to let the listeners know that you and I were scheduled to meet like a week ago, but you’re like messaging me that you’re on the plane.

Mary Kate Soliva (32:20):

Like you’re like at the airport about to get on the plane because you got to save some people out there in the world doing some incredible things. And I’d love for everybody to hear what you’re doing now.

Mary Bell (32:31):

I I’m happy to share. Uh, so as I know, everybody watching knows the American forces withdrew from Afghanistan in the middle of 2021 last year. And it created one of the largest humanitarian crisis of our century. And uh, that crisis is still occurring now. And there were several veterans. I was one of ’em who were very taken aback and just wanted to help. We had friends there. We had coworkers who had family there and we all felt our hands were tied and we didn’t think we could do anything. And to our surprise, tens of thousands of veterans stepped forward, use personal relationships, network capital to move mountains in Afghanistan and get people inside of the wall. So the international airport get them on flights for the state department. And then after the state department left continued to, to provide support for housing and food and just anything to support their allies, they didn’t leave them stranded.

Mary Bell (33:25):

Um, it’s been such an amazing response, um, to see. And then during that time I was able to connect to some really amazing and impactful people. And, uh, one of those people was a young, uh, I shouldn’t say young lady, young woman by the name of Sarah Lang. Uh, she has run successfully three NGOs prior to her and I starting her own NGO together. And her specialty is a civil rights activist and journalists who are in, um, less than ideal countries, um, for them being there and ensuring that if their safety was threatened, they could safely get across the border to another third party country. So she has a lot out of experience in operations, but the operations are a little more civilian oriented. And then, uh, we met while trying to secure some safe houses for some folks in Northern Afghanistan. And we realized very quickly between her skills and, uh, NGOs and my previous experience in operations.

Mary Bell (34:16):

We had a marriage made in heaven and, uh, we partnered forces and uh, we decided that we wanted to focus on women and children because in Afghanistan right now, if you do not have a male head of household, you can’t leave the house. You can’t have a job, you can’t even shop for food. So, uh, literally a crisis of starvation and just survival has begun for these women and they have no contacts. So thankfully, uh, we’ve been able to get word out there to a large group of women. We now supply daily food drops to these groups of women. Um, it’s we joke about it. Uh, but we have like, in-country Amazon, that’s all through signal and we’re able to get food packages to families, usually within 12 to 24 hours of requests to include everything from their basic food needs, um, feminine needs for, um, feminine things and baby these milk and diapers.

Mary Bell (35:02):

So we’re able to keep these women afloat when their husbands have either been killed by the regime or they’ve just disappeared or they’ve been able to evacuate, but they were forced to leave their families behind. So, uh, that’s primarily what we do is, um, supply sustainment to these women in country. But then also we have severe cases of women who have been raped, women who have been brutalized, um, through, uh, their families who have reached out to us and we’ve been able to safely and legally get them across the border into Pakistan and then get them onward visas to third party countries who take them as refugees from domestic violence. So we’ve had several cases, unfortunately meet that criteria, but fortunately enough, we’ve been able to give them safe Haven and get them safely out of Afghanistan. So that’s our primary focus. Uh, we also have a large group of refugees in a third party country that we’re looking for a final place for them to rest.

Mary Bell (35:49):

I just visited them last week. Uh, Mary Kate was saying on the flight, she caught me while I was on the flight to go help these individuals. And I was able to meet some of the families that we evacuated, um, and share some wonderful moments, um, sitting on the floor, drinking tea, meeting, little girls, um, who didn’t know who the benefactor was or the, or the moving force behind the flight they got on and being able to meet those girls and just let them know that they aren’t forgotten. There’s a human being behind that keyboard. Who’s working day and night to make sure we secure them with a better future. Um, I could didn’t think of a better realization of my why from THF if you asked me to, um, so that’s our mission. It’s what we work 12 to 16 hours a day doing right now. And I couldn’t be more blessed to be where I’m at.

Mary Kate Soliva (36:26):

Gosh, I’m so honored to know you. Mkay. Like, thank, thank you so much for, for what you do and what your team does. And I really, when you were, when you were messaging me, like, you know, I’m, I’m sitting here, I’m like, I’m ready to do this podcast with MK. And you’re like, I’m at, at the airport and I’m like, you go, you go, go, go. Cuz I just, I just know that the work that you’re doing re legitimately is helping, helping these women, helping these girls, helping these families and truly a blessing. I’m so grateful that you’re able to use utilize your gifts. And you found your why, and you you’ve taken that on probably more than, than most anybody that I know. So thank you for that. And is there something I, I know that we had talked earlier as well about sometimes people think that you, you might have the, the button and the answer to everything to be able to help, uh, get families out. So just wanted to, I guess maybe take a, a note about what you, your organization possibly, probably can’t do. Just so you’re not flooded after this, um, interview with, with asks.

Mary Bell (37:35):

We, we will be anyway, it happens every time, but it’s okay. In the slew of requests, there’s usually one female who really needs our help. So it’s okay. But you bring up a really good point. Um, a lot of people here at Afghanistan aid, and even though I don’t say evacuation, they hear evacuation and I, I’m very sorry to report that the evacuation flights have stopped. The Taliban government has come out and said that they want very much to be able to adhere to international standards for travel, which means everybody has to have a passport. So prior to this evacuation flights were able to leave with just some form of identification, like an identity card, a birth certificate. Um, but unfortunately those days have ended, um, as the Taliban works to gain their international recognition. So unfortunately those massive evacuations will not be continuing and private funding for those flights has gone down dramatically.

Mary Bell (38:25):

So there are still avenues for people, not through our organization, but people who serve the us government or other governments like Canada, Australia, there are programs available. And what’s wonderful is the, country’s been really good about publishing the information, how to apply for those programs on both the us Canadian and Australian sites. So if you are in someone in need of evacuation or you have a family who is, I implore you to go to those websites and see if you qualify for one of those categories, because that right now is your best chance, even though it may be a while, um, to get out out, that’s your best chance to get, um, some kind of opportunity to evacuate if you still need it, need it. The flip side to that is as the government begins to stabilize or we hope to stabilize in Afghanistan. Uh, our focus at team theists is more on sustainment of those people in country.

Mary Bell (39:08):

We wait for the regime, um, to clarify its goals and its intentions. Um, so we are looking at programs for employing people locally out jobs that are becoming available for the local popule, um, because they are starting to happen. So if you are stuck in Afghanistan and you don’t fall into the, one of the categories we, um, which we help, which is mainly women and children, um, keep your eye out on LinkedIn on Facebook. There’s lots of opportunities getting pushed there and we find them, we push them out as well. Um, so yes, unfortunately those evacuation routes are almost impossible. We can only do one or, or two off cases that have to do with domestic violence.

Mary Kate Soliva (39:39):

Well, thank you so much. Mkay. For sharing that again, I’m just in all of the work that you are, you’re doing and your team’s doing, and I’d like to say about how, how can they get ahold of you? Is there you have a, a website that people can, can reach you at, or what’s the best way for folks to contact you? You,

Mary Bell (39:57):

We do. We have a website it’s, uh, www.team themus.org. And I’m sure you can put it in the comments below as well. Um, we have, we have an intake on that site, uh, where you can email us, um, send us the details of what you’re dealing with, who you are, where you are, what you need help with. Uh, we get a lot of emails just say, I’m in danger, help me. And we can’t do a lot with that. So give us the details for the danger you’re in the help that you need. And we’ll see if we can help. And if we can’t, we’ll try to, we’ll try to forward your email to an organization that can, and then secondly, I am on LinkedIn. Thankfully the load on LinkedIn on DMing me has not gotten out of control yet. So I personally respond to every message that I get either saying that we are in a position to help are providing them resources to look somewhere else. And we will continue to do that. I’m hoping to hire some interns here in the next couple weeks to help manage that. Um, but right now DMing me in on my LinkedIn is a perfect way to get in touch with me.

Mary Kate Soliva (40:48):

Awesome. Great. And you said, you said interns, is there opportunity here for, for maybe some folks that are here in the United States that wanna help and wanna do more? Is there something that they can do?

Mary Bell (40:59):

Absolutely. Uh, the interim position we have open right now is for our social media coordinator. We need someone to manage our social media feeds. We try to push that on the daily, the food drops we’re doing, uh, the sustainment planning we’re doing are education opportunities, and we really need somebody to manage that. Um, I’ve had some wonderful applications that we get to the second you, and then they just fizzle out and we really need some help. Um, it’s just me and Sarah and five volunteers right now, and the volunteers all have full-time jobs. Uh, so we’re looking for college juniors, college seniors, and, uh, newly graduated college applicants to, to apply to the program. And we also are starting up our inaugural board of directors. We have some wonderful applications in our ready, um, from some real high power individuals. And we really think are gonna take team theists to the next level in helping people in Afghanistan. Uh, the board applications are closed for right now. Um, but I highly encourage anybody that has any skill, especially in supporting people in Afghanistan or connections to women’s organizations, please reach out to us. We’re always trying to connect and grow our network to be able to help more women and children in country.

Mary Kate Soliva (41:58):

Fantastic. I love that you, you highlighted that the network that’s really what this is all about the introductions and, and stepping out of that out of the military uniform, into the civilian life, learning how to leverage connections and your network is huge. And so in the work that you’re doing, I think that’s amazing if you’re out there and you, you fit that scope of what MK and our team are looking for, please reach out. Uh, we definitely, they let’s send them all the, the help that they need. Um, so thank you so much, MK for your time today. Again, I was so, so excited to do this. I wanted to wait till the, the sun came up so I could get start off my day in speaking with you. And, um, I just, uh, on behalf of the entire team here at veteran voices. Thank you. Thank you team Themus and thank you. We would love to invite everybody listening today to subscribe wherever you get your podcast from in a big thank you to our partners at vets industry. Uh, this is Mary Kay saliva wishing all of our listeners an incredible day, incredible rest of your week. Stay motivated, do good, give forward and be the change that’s needed like MK and her team were doing. And on that note, we’ll see y’all next time. Thanks.