While there are many resources available to Veterans transitioning to the private sector, knowing which ones will be the best help for you can be a challenge. From housing to education to advice and counseling, there are plenty of people willing to help along the way.

In this interview, Mary Kate Soliva welcomes Kai Henderson. Kai was working as a police officer in Arkansas, but he wanted to see more of the world. When he made the decision to enlist, he selected a branch of the military that he knew would not send him back to Arkansas: the Navy.

Kai and Mary Kate compare their perspectives on:

• Why transitioning out of the military is so different from leaving a typical job to take on a new role
• How education – just like the military – can often be the best thing to help people get ‘unstuck’ in their lives
• The importance of investing in mental health, and the reality that many people struggle with anxiety and/or depression

Intro/Outro (00:02):

Welcome to veteran voices, a podcast that dedicated to giving a voice to those that have served in the United States, armed forces on this series, jointly presented by supply chain now, and vets to industry. We sit down with a wide variety of veterans and veteran advocates to gain their insight perspective and stories from serving. We talked with many individuals about their challenging transition from active duty to the private sector, and we discuss some of the most vital issues facing veterans today. Join us for this episode of veteran voices.

Mary Kate Soliva (00:49):

Hello everyone, half a day. This is Mary Kate Soliva with you here on veteran voices. Thank you for joining us today. As we’ve got a wonderful conversation teed up for you today with a veteran and an advocate, stay tuned for a great discussion. Quick programming note before we get started, this program is part of supply chain. Now family of programming today’s show is in partnership with near and dear friends of mine at bets to industry. Learn more about this powerful nonprofit that is serving so many folks. So many veterans, the military community around the world@vetstoindustry.org, an initiative dear near and dear to my heart, the Guam human rights initiative, find them on LinkedIn and at the university of Guam under the regional center for public policy. So without further ado, let’s introduce our guests today. Our guests is a fulltime student. He’s also a veteran of the United States Navy. Super, very excited to welcome in Kai Henderson. Thank you so much for joining me today. Kai.

Kai Henderson (01:56):

Thank you for having me here.

Mary Kate Soliva (01:58):

I will super excited to talk to you today. Um, I really want our guests to get started and pumped up. I don’t know what time of day it is in their side of the world, but I’d like you to pump him up with some motivational talk today. So could you share with us a little bit motivation and, and perhaps your favorite quote?

Kai Henderson (02:17):

Absolutely. So my favorite quote is from Dwayne Johnson often and is the rock. I really resonate with his, he came from poverty and, um, struggled with mental health. And when he was asked about his success, he said, be humble, be hungry and be the hardest worker in the room. And I’ve adopted that in my day to day life and have seen a lot of success from that. So yeah, he’s my go-to for inspiration.

Mary Kate Soliva (02:42):

I love that. And like Sue of we’re flying, cuz like we talk about with Dwayne Johnson, the rock, you know, he’s Pacific Islander, I’m Pacific Islander, but he’s Polynesian. Whereas I’m like what about the Micronesians, man? Don’t forget about the Micronesians. Like are we at Moana low and stitch I’m like, come on now. So, uh, love, love, love him is big family guy. Love that quote. Yeah. Yeah. So you, you touched a little bit on the quote, why it’s important to you, but I’m gonna take it way back now for our listeners today to get to know a little bit about you. And I’d love to hear a little bit it more about where you grew up.

Kai Henderson (03:22):

Uh, so I grew up in a little place called Palmville Arkansas. It’s about 300 people. You can blink if you’re driving like past the interstate, you can blink and miss it. It’s just, it’s such a small town. It’s a place, everybody knows everyone. And um, I grew up on a farm there. My parents had a, a chicken farm group for Tyson and um, yeah, super small place. We didn’t even have a public school. It was so tiny. And uh, we had to go to,

Mary Kate Soliva (03:46):

I don’t even think I heard of that.

Kai Henderson (03:48):

Yeah. Super small place.

Mary Kate Soliva (03:50):

So with the, with that being said, it was one of those where you only had like one traffic light or did you not even have a traffic light?

Kai Henderson (03:57):

We didn’t have a traffic light now we just had stop and dirt roads <laugh> yeah, we had, we have

Mary Kate Soliva (04:02):

One. So if I was to ask for directions to like the nearest grocery store, what kind of, what would, what would you say is like turn left at the stump on the road?

Kai Henderson (04:13):

<laugh> just about, yeah, you’d have to go over to the next city. Uh, you could get groceries, like some small things that the local country store, but outside of that, if you wanted get like, you know, stuff or a full meal, you’d have to go either to the next city or you could also find a lot of people had farms and they grew their own food and did hunting that kind of thing. But, but yeah, you’d have to drive a little bit.

Mary Kate Soliva (04:35):

So in a, in a town like that, where everybody knows everybody, what were some of the past times that you did? Like, did you play music sports or what was there to do around there?

Kai Henderson (04:47):

I played with dirt rocks and sticks a lot. I had, um, and I got some like little doc truck toys whenever I was a kid. So I, I essentially just like haul dirt around and built little things out of dirt. Yeah. Very, very poor. Uh, we didn’t have a, you know, a lot of money. So you kind of use what is around you. And I grew up out in the country in woods and stuff. So I play like that. And then we had, you know, farm animals. I had a farm dog. So you go play with my dog or ride my bike, go fishing, that kind of thing.

Mary Kate Soliva (05:20):

So you actually, you had water near by then where you lived

Kai Henderson (05:23):

A little bit. We had a little Creek that ran through our property. It was very small, but enough to get weed and play in some mud and um, catch some Carl dad. So

Mary Kate Soliva (05:33):

Carl dads.

Kai Henderson (05:33):

Yeah. They’re, they’re really, I hate to touch them. Cause that feels really weird. And I got, I went for a fishing recently with my friend and um, I was telling ’em how I don’t like to touch fish. I like to go fishing, but I don’t like to touch the fish cuz how they feel. And but yeah, I, um, I, so usually I play with them like with a stick, but I’m not a fan of picking ’em up.

Mary Kate Soliva (05:55):

Oh my goodness. So it just sounds like a bunch of, you know, playing around and dirt. Well, you started mentioning the critters and like I’m wondering what kind of critters come out of the Creek. That’s what I’m trying to think of now.

Kai Henderson (06:06):

Yeah. The snakes you had to really watch out for snakes. Uh, there was this one time I went fishing and I accidentally caught a snake instead of fish. It was very terrifying. And um, whenever I was five years old, I actually almost got bit by a, um, a cotton mouth. It’s very, very scary. And even now to this day I have an aversion of steaks. I respect them, but I want my own space. It’s very scary. But yeah, you can, um, you can get in trouble decree, go be careful.

Mary Kate Soliva (06:34):

Well, yeah, it sounds like there’s, there’s friendly things and deadly.

Kai Henderson (06:38):

Yeah, absolutely.

Mary Kate Soliva (06:40):

Um, I really love the idea though, of small town living and simple living and everybody kind of knowing everybody else. Is there, there a time about you all experienced where you all came together as a community to, to support or help one another out?

Kai Henderson (06:56):

Yeah. So a lot, lot of the people who lived in the town, um, also had chicken farms or some type of farm cattle horses, and we were always helping each other and a lot of bartering and trading those kinds of things and yeah, if you needed someone, oh yeah, they were just a phone call away. It was really nice to have that sense of community too. Growing up.

Mary Kate Soliva (07:15):

I love that. And I think that’s what it, it’s all about. That really sounds like you can’t get more American than that. I’d love to hear a little bit about an anecdote or two that you may have from your up upbringing, sort of some lessons learned.

Kai Henderson (07:28):

Yeah. So I grew up very poor. Uh, there was a, a long stent of time where actually lived in a camping tent. All my parents could afford was a small lot of land and there was my stepdad, my mom and myself. And we lived in this tiny little tent for like a year and a half, two years. And during that time, uh, my parents started to build a house on the property and we had the, the shell of it up and you know, there some walls on it and enough where we could live in it and have some shelter and uh, on the property they drill the well. So we could have some water mm-hmm <affirmative> and they ran the pipes on top of the ground. Cause we weren’t able to dig into the ground and set the pipes where they needed to be just yet.

Kai Henderson (08:08):

So I remember it was summertime and we didn’t have hot water in the house. It was just a cold water from the ground. And uh, I went in to wash my hands and the water was warm and I was so excited and I like bolted out the house to go find my mom. I was like, mom, we have hot water. We have hot water. And I was like five, six years old at the time. And um, my parents started laughing at me and I didn’t didn’t realize what was going on, but what it was is the sun had heated up the pipes there on top of the, the ground. And that’s why the water was warm. And I remember whenever I found that out, I was so disappointed cause I was like, I thought we had hot water and I kind of going back to my quote where Dwayne Johnson talks about being hungry. That was the day I became hungry for success. And I promised myself that I was not gonna live like that when I was an adult. And you know, just trying to, to make my way into life right now and just be successful and yeah, I will never forget that day.

Mary Kate Soliva (09:10):

Wow. That is so powerful. And uh, thank, thank you for sharing at, I can actually just imagine your sort of your reaction. I can kind of visualize that about how excited you were just to feel the warm water, but then to find out that it was from the sun on, um, you, and again, I, I love back to that, go back to that simple living, but the fact that you said like that was when you decided that you wanted more for yourself and that’s probably, that’s a great segue, I think for, uh, to talk to our listeners about what led you into the Navy and you know, your, your time in uniform. Was it something where the recruiters just happened to bump down the down the road in a truck and <laugh>, does anyone wanna join the Navy? I mean, you I’m imagining a small town here, but what was the, was there even a recruiting station near, near your house?

Kai Henderson (09:59):

There was one about 30 minutes away. And so what piqued my interest in the military was one of my neighbors, neighbors was actually a Marine veteran and I, uh, hung out with him a lot. We did shooting practices together and stuff and just hearing about his experience. And I also have know with family members who have served in the military as well. So I I’ve always kinda had interest there. And I kind of explored that interest a little bit as a like 17, 18 year old, but I decided I wanted to wait and see if I could, you know, maybe do something different with my life. So I established a really good career. Um, I was actually a police officer before I joined the military and um, at out of Arkansas and I enjoyed my time there, but I, I felt like I was stuck.

Kai Henderson (10:51):

And most of the people that I grew up with and had known in Arkansas, most of ’em never left. They just stayed. And I wanted more for myself than that. And I loved where I worked, but you know, that desire to, to do more, to be more, to see more and explore the world. So I knew the Navy wouldn’t station me back in Arkansas. And uh, so that’s why I picked the Navy and yeah, I went out and I didn’t do a lot of traveling. I didn’t get to go overseas, which I was kind of hope and forth at the time, but I traveled out to Chicago for uh, boot camp. And then after boot camp, I went to a school out in Florida, which was amazing, the best food I’ve ever had, I think up there. Yeah. And then I got stationed in California, which is what I ultimately wanted. I wanted to be out in California to experience the food, the culture near the community out. And yeah, I stayed after I got out and plan on putting some roots down here.

Mary Kate Soliva (11:43):

Yeah. I love that. What was it, had you seen the ocean at that point before you joined the Navy?

Kai Henderson (11:50):

I thought once and I actually went, I flew out to California for a friend’s wedding and I just fell in love with the place. And I was like, I gotta come back and not just a visit, like I want to come to stay here for a while. And yeah. So I, I lucked out, I got orders to California. I was so excited. Everyone. I read my orders, it said LA more California. I was like, I don’t know where LA more is, but I’m excited. That’s California. So

Mary Kate Soliva (12:14):

I mean, cause California’s a pretty small state, right?

Kai Henderson (12:17):

Yeah. Just

Mary Kate Soliva (12:18):

<laugh> no, not at all. Anyone listening that doesn’t to California, that’s really huge. But um, yeah. It’s

Mary Kate Soliva (12:26):

Gosh, it takes me back to like when, when I got my orders from my first duty station and it was like Fort Dietrich and I’m like, where the hell is Fort D trick at like this little tiny little base, but it was, um, I, I can’t say that I had the look of happiness, like you did in getting California as your first station. I swear like everybody in my, a I T V advanced individual training class got really cool these stations. And then I ended up out here in Maryland. Yeah. Um, so I mean, we just talked a little bit earlier about the sunshine and the heat that you’re getting. So I’d appreciate you to package some up and send it my way up.

Kai Henderson (13:07):

You’re welcome to all of it. <laugh>

Mary Kate Soliva (13:09):

Yeah. Right. I’m ready for, for summer. But you, you touched a little a bit about, oh, where, where you got to go and, and what you got to do. What were you doing, um, in Florida at the time? Cause now when you’re imagining, when you talk about food, I’m thinking like, did you eat Gator for the first time?

Kai Henderson (13:28):

Oh no, no, no. So, uh, Florida principal of Florida actually had the best Navy gal, um, in the higher branch. So I felt really lucky. Like you get like fresh omelet, like they’ll crack the eggs in front of you and they make your food fresh. So you don’t have this, like, I don’t know, egg powder and water type of eggs, you know, it’s especially if you coming from boots camp,

Mary Kate Soliva (13:48):

That’s fine. You know, what is, what is the Navy doing over here? I feel like the army, we still get powdered eggs. Y’all get fresh eggs over there in the,

Kai Henderson (13:56):

And Pensacola, nowhere else that I found, but Pensacola yeah. You get fresh eggs. So it was, it was so nice coming from bootcamp cuz you know, bootcamp, you get all like the water log food and it’s no telling how long it’s been frozen. And so yeah, it was so nice to go to Pensacola and get some fresh food, like fresh fruit and it was so good.

Mary Kate Soliva (14:15):

You did didn’t mention sausage gravy once at all. That’s like the premier premier cuisine. Once you also sent it over to the army guys. Oh my goodness. Um, that’s that’s I, I actually, I think that’s fantastic. You got to experience the east coast, you got to experience the west coast and you also really stayed out in California. And during that, that time, uh, in your career, are there, is there anybody that really sticks out to you that was, uh, paramount to your, your growth during that time or someone that really took you under their wing that you wanna give special shout out too?

Kai Henderson (14:52):

Yeah, absolutely. So whenever I first got to my, uh, duty station in Lamore, uh, petty officer Blake was my first point of contact and they were my mentor during my time there. And um, they just kind of took me under their wing and showed me the ropes and um, and they were like, they had so many resources, you know, if you needed anything, you know, with like mental health or just navigating base or, you know, what’s, what’s around to eat or, you know, just absolutely anything that you were the go to person. And they were kind of known as like a, like a mother figure around the entire squadron and like they were just so motherly and caring and like it was genuine. Like they actually cared about your wellbeing. And um, I remember that making all the difference.

Mary Kate Soliva (15:33):

I really, really love that. Was that something that you felt like you were able to pass on to the sailors that you worked with?

Kai Henderson (15:40):

Yeah, I did my best too. So petty officer Blake actually worked in maintenance admin. And whenever I first got to my duty station, I started out in the line chat and um, cause had a aviation rate and I worked in line check for a little bit. And then I got to go to work in maintenance admin, which is a luxury, especially if you’re a junior enlisted person, like you don’t going to maintenance. Admin is like very rare. And so I, I felt very blessed that I got picked and um, she actually became my supervisor too. And um, but yeah, I be maintenance avenue have access to a lot of resources for the squadron and um, a lot of networking and I also worked or volunteered for a staffer, which is via sexual assault prevention and response department. And being in there, you meet a lot of people and you get to, there’s also for the Navy, there’s a fleet and family, which has a lot of resources. And um, I gotta work with the people that in fleet and family a lot. So I had access to a lot of resources and being able to pass those on to incoming sailors was a really good feeling. Cause I remember what it was like to be in their shoes and you’re just, you know, you’re like bright eye bushy and you’re just like, oh my God, I dunno. What’s happening in a new place. And <affirmative> yeah, that’s actually a

Mary Kate Soliva (16:55):

Great way to

Kai Henderson (16:55):

Describe.

Mary Kate Soliva (16:56):

Yeah, that’s a great way to describe it. Brian had a pushy tale cause I’m thinking like something straight outta all these Disney references, but I think you’re you’re right. Uh, we were talking, I was talking to someone recently about even the, the DVDs of the videos that they show at the recruiting center. You’re trying to figure out what job you wanna do. And it’s like, and then the videos are just so cool. And so when you join, you’re just like, yes, and you’re just ready to take onto your career. And then you can start slowly seeing how salty the, the sea start getting. But I love that somebody stepped up and, and took you under their wing. And, and even of more than that, like actually told you where the good places were to eat. Yes. But I guess of what I, we, I sort of missed that part cuz now, now I’m curious, like what made you actually pick the job that you ended up getting in, in the Navy?

Kai Henderson (17:48):

So that’s kind of a funny story. So whenever I joined, I did the aviation apprenticeship. I forget exactly what it’s called, but I went in and I got, I was UND designated. I didn’t have a, like an assigned rate. So you, for your first two years that you’re in, you try different aviation jobs. So you can try like the aviation, um, avionics, et cetera. Um, but what ended up happening and for other people who also did the aviation apprenticeship is you get stuck in the line check and the line check does all the grunt work for your squadron and you don’t get a lot of experience in the areas that you’re supposed to get experience in. So at the end of my two year, I gotta put in for a rate that I wanted and you can list your top three that you wanna have. And based off the needs of the Navy, you get assigned a rate. So I ended up getting aviation, structural mechanic. I never did anything with it my whole time I worked in admin. So yeah, that’s a, it’s not what I was expecting, but it was an interesting journey.

Mary Kate Soliva (18:52):

I love that saying needs of the Navy. That is not

Kai Henderson (18:57):

<laugh>

Mary Kate Soliva (18:58):

Listeners. That basically makes that you do not get anything that’s on your wishlist. Um, if you were able to pick one that you wanted, what would you, what would you have picked

Kai Henderson (19:10):

Out of like any rate

Mary Kate Soliva (19:12):

Mm-hmm <affirmative>

Kai Henderson (19:13):

It’s a tough one.

Mary Kate Soliva (19:15):

You’re starting to make me think you wanted to pick cook. So just you get that fresh eggs anytime you wanted.

Kai Henderson (19:20):

You know, I, I actually was interested in being a cook until I, um, I found out kind of what goes on with being a cook. And I was like, absolutely not. Um, I think if I had to pick anyone, it would probably be something with like an it or admin or maybe cyber security.

Mary Kate Soliva (19:37):

Yeah. Those are AB absolutely great ones too. And I, I love that you, you did the Sapper program as well, cuz even for those specialized ones, not everyone gets an opportunity to step in those roles or step up for those roles. So I think that’s great that you did that. Were there any other, uh, any sort of training or certification opportunities that you did and took advantage of while you were on active duty?

Kai Henderson (20:04):

So while I was on active duty, I, I didn’t. So I got a lot of certifications. My job at maintenance admin was actually man, all the qualifications for our squadron. So I gotta see what was out there. And um, yeah, before I left I had probably 20 different ones and um, wow. It was, it was nice cuz you could, you got out of it, what you put into it, you could, you know, essentially this, it obviously if you had the time, cause you have to take care of your job first and then training in a second. But um, yeah, there’s unlimited opportunity. I think every branch has one, but um, ours is called Navy. Cool. So you could put in so many hours and get an apprent apprenticeship or like certification and yeah. There’s endless opportunities for education, which is amazing.

Mary Kate Soliva (20:48):

Absolutely. I’d definitely take advantage of those if you’re still on active duty for those tuning in today, but I really, you actually mentioned the word networking earlier and I think that that was sort of a foreign word to me when I was on active duty. I think I was just doing it without knowing what it really was and it wasn’t until I was transitioning out of the military that I really understood the value of networking. So could you touch a little bit on, on what you did in, in that aspect and how you even came to know the, the importance of networking?

Kai Henderson (21:23):

Yeah, so I, I didn’t understand the importance of it until I taking my classes to transition out of the military and in those classes they talked relentlessly network network network. Yes. And I was like, well, how do I do that? I didn’t know how a LinkedIn account. So I, I got a LinkedIn account and I just started like following people that I knew and you know, following people that they knew and eventually over time you can, you know, build a pretty good network of people, but yeah, it’s, you don’t know what you don’t know. Right. If you don’t know to look or you don’t know to network, then chances are probably not happening. So I, if you know, the people listening to this, if you get an opportunity to network, do it, if you don’t have a LinkedIn account, make one, you know, reach out to people and there’s people out there that wanna connect with you and help you and support you.

Mary Kate Soliva (22:10):

And that’s abso that’s wonderful advice. And um, those sort of good cuz I was just thinking about if you were in a room of transitioning service members, what you would say to them, and I think that’s really amazing advice leveraging your network, but for those who maybe tuning in, I think one of the unique things about us is we sort of programmed and wired to be afraid to put ourselves out there. And we are continuously thinking about the team and those to are left and right. Uh, but this is a timely, you said transitioning that it’s focusing now on yourself. So for what would be your advice for those who, who still be afraid to put themselves out there? Like even putting a last name on LinkedIn, for example.

Kai Henderson (22:56):

Yeah. So I was actually that person, um, yeah, I’d put my first name at last initial and you know, for the longest time I didn’t have a photo of myself either, but it’s hard to connect with people if you don’t know who they are. So take that step, take that leap. It will pay off. And whenever you’re transitioning out of the military too, it is never, ever too early to prepare to leave. Cause it is whenever I went into the military, I thought, you know, when you left, it was similar to leaving any other job. It is not. Um, my contract was only for three years and I didn’t reenlist whenever I transitioned out, it took a solid year of prepping and looking back on it, I kind of wish I would’ve started a year and a half in cuz there’s so much to transitioning outta the military, but you know, just take that first step is my advice.

Mary Kate Soliva (23:46):

That’s great advice. Uh, I was also guilty of that and, and many of my mentors still reference and laugh at me about they remember when I was just Mary S and then Mary Kate S and I was like, you know, catfish. I was like, they probably think that I’m some fake person in my mom’s basement and don’t even know what I look like. Or if I’m a real person, so surprise, nobody was connecting with me before I really put myself out there. And I was, I’m wondering because, uh, you mentioned about how you just did the one contract and this is something that I really, you know, wanted to bring you on to veteran voices, because I think there’s a lot of service members out there that may only want to do one contract and they’re sort of on the, on the fence about whether they want to stay in or not and, and maybe make a wonderful career out of it. But did you sort of get that where people were saying, you know, stay in, you know, keep sign another contract. Did you experience that and sort of like, how did you process like this is the right decision for me?

Kai Henderson (24:49):

Yeah. So I actually received a lot of pressure from my command to reenlist. And at one point it was presented it to me as I didn’t have a choice that I was gonna have to, and I remember just feeling disheartened and at the time, like, I’m, you know, even now, like I’m trying to, to grow my family and with being on active duty comes deployments, you know, you’re not home very often. You have long work hours. And I really wanted to take time to focus on my family. So I knew like I felt really solid in that and knew that this one contract was all I was gonna do. And for some people don’t know, you know, if you don’t have kids, if you don’t, you’re not married, there’s so much opportunity and you don’t have, you know, you’re not like attached to people back home so much.

Kai Henderson (25:36):

So going out and being on, you know, six to six plus month deployments or detachments, isn’t so emotionally straining. So if you know, you’re in a place like that and I see, go for it, you know, if that’s something that feels right and it feels solid to you go for it. And if you’re on the fence, you’re not sure then take time. Don’t let people pressure. You it’s your life. They don’t live your life. You live your life and you go to bed with yourself every night. So do what is gonna feel right to you.

Mary Kate Soliva (26:05):

Wow. Well, like how do I, I even follow that. That was really powerful. And gosh, I, I could feel, I could feel every word that you were saying there. Cause I think that that was something that I struggled with. I got out at the halfway mark. And so the pressure there of, you know, you’re already over the hill push you, you know, much further to go and, uh, really taking that step back to do an assessment of your, your goals and where you see yourself. And, and so I think that, especially for those who are tuning in that only did or on the fence, they only wanna do one contract. I think this was really valuable conversation to really do that self-reflection assessment because sometimes I think we do stay out of, out of fear though. You know, there’s nothing wrong with staying in and it’s honorable to stay for the long haul, but I think that there is nothing wrong if you are wanting to take a step back in, in look for something else. So I really wanted to, to touch on that as well with regards to what you’re doing now. Yeah. I mentioned it. So I gave our listeners a little glimpse into the fact that you’re a full-time student now. So if you could talk about a little bit what that looked like for you, your first coming out, maybe your first few months coming off of active duty, what did that look like for you?

Kai Henderson (27:29):

Yeah, so I actually utilize the steel bridge program. And for those of you who are not familiar with it, the last six months of your active duty contract, you can do an internship with a civilian company. So I found a, a software company based out of Georgia and I gotta do three months of my, you know, at the end of my contract, but I did those three months, this skill bridge and transitioned. And at the end, it wasn’t a good fit. And I, if I felt really solid in the fact that if I was going to establish myself somewhere with the new career, it had to be a good fit, like organization had to have the same values that I have. And so my next step, I was just like, I don’t know what to do. And I reached out to a veteran organization that’s local here and the, I got connected with the rep veteran representative.

Kai Henderson (28:16):

And he was in a, a similar boat that I was whenever I got out. And his job is solely to help veterans find employment. So it was a work with him and I got hired on, or did an apprenticeship at a local, uh, tech company. And I did that for a little while. And while I was going to school, I started going to college and, uh, there’s a com there’s a college out of San Francisco called golden gate university. And the veteran representative, I was working with the unemployment I was at actually going to school there. And he is like, Hey, this college is amazing. They’re very veteran and military friendly. If you get a chance, check them out. And, um, I checked them out and yeah, they’re just fantastic. And I, I stopped working in January, which is very weird for me. I’ve worked, I don’t know, since I was like eight or nine, so I was working on the farm. And so like the last 20 years or so I’ve been working and now I am not working. And it just, it feels weird, but it is such a good way. Like now I can focus on my education and, you know, through my veteran resources, you can get, you know, like your di bill, you can get a housing allowance, so that helps pay for stuff. And you can just focus on school. So the, if, uh, if you get the chance to focus on school, just that I highly recommend it. It’s very rewarding.

Mary Kate Soliva (29:32):

Fantastic. And did you find help with your, your application for college or did you end up doing it on your own?

Kai Henderson (29:40):

I ended up doing it on my own, but was, was really cool. Is the veteran certifying officer at golden gate university. She helped so much. She just kind of like held my hand through the process and, um, I, I really wish her more people like her in the world. She’s amazing. But she told me about her program called the veteran rehabilitation program. So, uh, just kind of a brief, uh, summary of what they do is if you have, I believe it’s 30% or more disability, then they pay for a employment program. So what that can look like is if you need a bachelor’s degree to get a job, they’ll pay for that bachelor’s degree. So she told me about the program and actually qualified for the benefits. And if you get a chance, look, ’em up. They’re they’re phenomenal. Um, and I didn’t realize like how beneficial that was gonna be for me moving forward with my education.

Kai Henderson (30:31):

So instead of getting three years of my school paid, I’m getting seven years of my school paid. And during that whole time I’m getting a, a housing allowance space, the zip code of a college. And that that’s huge, absolutely huge. So you’re more than doubling the years that you’re getting for school. So, you know, you can get a, a doctor degree in eight years, right. You have seven years of schooling, so you’d only be out of pocket for one year. And then even at that, there’s other resources that you can use to pay for school. So, and that kind of goes back to like, whenever you’re transitioning out of the military, there’s so many resources, like just infinite amounts. And if you, again, you don’t know what you don’t know. So if you don’t know to look for them or even what they are that exists out there, you’ll miss out on them. So yeah. Highly recommend connecting with other people who have gone through this process or yeah, just reach out.

Mary Kate Soliva (31:25):

Oh, I love that, that you’re taking advantage of that. And you even mentioned about the housing allowance, which I think is, is huge. And it’s an incentive that we have coming from the military. So take advantage of that and another opportunities, even the yellow ribbon program, uh, being able to help with that, that gap is say, if you do run out of the, the funding, a lot of these universities across the country, part of the yellow ribbon program. So thank you for sharing that aspect of it. Um, big proponent as a student veteran myself, to really take advantage of that and sort of like my plug to look up your, uh, veteran organization and at your school, like the student veterans of America, uh, there’s just so many different, uh, clubs and organizations out there that can help support you to achieve, uh, your goals, whatever they may be in higher education. And I know we had talked off one about this ki, but I really, uh, would love our listeners to hear a little bit more about what you’re hoping to do with your education and, uh, sort of what led you to that as well.

Kai Henderson (32:32):

Yeah, of course. So whenever I’ll go back to one, I was a little kid. I, um, my parents called me doctor nurse, and, uh, I was, yeah, yeah. Um, anytime like a, a pet or one of our farm animals would get injured. Like I was a like first one to go doctor them up. And even when they didn’t have injuries or boo boos, I was like, you know, trying to, I was active. I would act like they did, they’d had injuries. And I would like, um, you know, administer first aid to them. And, um, I wanted to be a doctor and I wanted to go to medical school, but coming from such poverty, I was like, it’s not in the card to me. There’s no way even like, if I try to pursue this, I would ever have the money to attend medical school, which is not, it’s just not for me.

Kai Henderson (33:16):

And I, it’s kind of always been in the back of my mind. And that was part of the motivation for joining the military outside of just being stuck, where I was. And I was like, I wanna go to school. And I know that the military can help me do that. So I’m on track now to start medical school in two years. And it’s, it feels like a dream come true. Like I’ve just, I’m just in shock in the best of ways. Like I, I put in the work I put in the effort and it’s paying off and now I’m on track to be a doctor and I’ll be the first person in my family to be a doctor. And it’s just, it’s so exciting and I couldn’t have done it without the military and my VA benefits. And, um, just the people who have helped me along to know what was out there to, you know, the resources that I could utilize.

Kai Henderson (34:06):

So I’m so thankful to all of them and it feels good. It feels good to invest in yourself. And I know like, you know, if I would’ve stayed in the military, like I wouldn’t be on the track that I am now, and this is where I’m meant to be. So kind of going back a little bit to like, if you’re not sure if you should get out or not just, you know, think about your future long term. And, um, what you wanna do with your life is anything, anything is possible. It doesn’t matter where you come from the color of your skin, your race, you know, your economic status, you can be successful and I’m living proof of the, you know, anyone can be successful.

Mary Kate Soliva (34:45):

Wow. And I really appreciate you saying that, Kai, because what you just said about how you, you were entering medical school in two years, I just think about if you had reenlisted where you would be at, in your, in that contract, um, you know, in the Navy and, and sort of, kind of like the parallel lives of those who had joined at the same time as you, and kind of seeing, um, you know, where you took a step to the left or the right where you pivoted. But now you’re about to do this in incre be on this incredible path, uh, towards medical school. And I love that you are a doctor nurse. So I get wondering, like, once you pass medical school, you’re like, I just keep calling you doctor, nurse. Um <laugh> and I keep thinking

Kai Henderson (35:26):

Animals.

Mary Kate Soliva (35:27):

So I’m like, Kai, you did say medical school with humans, right? Not like veterinarian school with animals

Kai Henderson (35:35):

About you, like, let

Mary Kate Soliva (35:37):

Tell you about a story from the farm when I was you helping the animals. And I’m like, but you sit medical school, you go a little bit different, uh, routes here, but yeah,

Kai Henderson (35:46):

Yeah. That inspired my interest to, you know, anti-medicine initially, so yeah, I am. I’m excited. I, I don’t, again, it feels like a dream come true. Yeah,

Mary Kate Soliva (35:57):

Absolutely. Absolutely. That, do you, you see yourself staying out in, uh, California to pursue that?

Kai Henderson (36:04):

Maybe, maybe, um, I love it out here, so there’s a really good possibility I’ll stay.

Mary Kate Soliva (36:10):

And I know we had talked about too, but maybe the opportunities that you have, I mean, just being a, a full flood medical doctor, the opportunities for you, there’s such a great need all around the world. So really admirable the path that you’re going on. And you’re absolutely right. I mean, stemming from the motivational quote that you, you amped us up with in the beginning, right. Between Johnson, uh, but now to now about how really you can do that. And I love that are still, you can, you can hear how Huit is in, in the story that you share and just in the conversations we’ve had about how humble you are. And I think that that’s just, you know, you’re setting yourself up for such success. Uh, you really, I, I think some people they’re three times older than you, and they’re still trying to figure out what they wanna do when they go up. So I think it’s really impressive, uh, where you started and where you are now. It’s amazing. Yeah.

Kai Henderson (37:05):

I feel so blessed. I do. And I, I, again, I couldn’t have done it without the people, um, that have helped me along this journey and, and it’s very grateful for them and just, you know, grateful for recognizing the potential that I had in myself and, uh, acting on that, you know, just again, investing in myself. And I remember whenever I first started, I’m wanna touch on mental health a little bit whenever I first started, yes, please. Experie anxiety. I was in the military and, uh, my mentor at the time I had a couple throughout my, um, contract, but she was telling me like how she has anxiety. And I was so shocked. I was like, you have anxiety. It’s like, does anybody know? And, um, cuz I was taught like it was shameful. Like you can’t tell anybody you have anxiety or you’re depressed.

Kai Henderson (37:49):

Like you can get, I was told you could get kicked out for that. And I was like, well, how do you get help for this? If you can get kicked out for it. You know? Like, and I didn’t realize how common anxiety was or depression. And I, I started to like talk to more people and I was realizing, oh, most people here experience some kind of anxiety or depression or you know, something and you know, it’s, it’s okay to get help. It’s okay to invest in your own mental health. And I feel like a lot of times in the military, it’s, there’s a lot of shame around having like poor mental health. But I think if this shift like in my squadron, for example, I wish the leaders would have put a little bit more of an emphasis on like it’s okay to take care of yourself. And I really appreciated that. Like when I worked at the police department, um, mental health was huge. It was a huge component. And if you needed a mental health day, that was okay. You know, and, and I think our military leaders could do a little bit better of a job about like, here are the resources, if you’re struggling, it’s okay. You can go get help. And just knowing that investing in your mental health is gonna set you up for success.

Mary Kate Soliva (39:06):

Absolutely. That whole, um, making sure that you fill your cup up before you pour onto others. Yeah. Um, really, really I important, uh, thing to talk about mental health is just so it’s so important that we take care of ourselves, but that we also sort of do those buddy checks. You know, I think that when, even when we come in the service, you talk about battle buddies and we always gotta go in yeah. In pairs at least. And I think that’s one of the things that I’ve take a step back as, as well is, uh, when I have my mentors checking in on me and saying, you know, are, you know, are you okay? It looks like you’re getting a little frazzled over there. So <laugh>, and then just taking a step back, taking a deep breath, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with, with seeking out that help and know that there’s so many people out there that are advocating for us and for our mental health, that there’s resources popping up.

Mary Kate Soliva (40:01):

I, I keep, I feel like I’m continuously learning about new resources, new veteran service organizations out there that are really making this a center point of focus and conversation. And I mean, that’s really like what we’re having now. Now I think it’s important to just be able to have that conversation about mental health and that it’s okay to ask for help and to lean on one another. And I, I would love to ask it with the, with regards to mental health, uh, for the disability rate, you even mentioned it that you using the, the vocational program now for call, at what point did you decide to start filing and start, you know, really taking ownership of your, um, your disability claim?

Kai Henderson (40:48):

Yeah. That’s an excellent question. Um, and kind of like going back to, it’s never too early to prepare to transition out same thing with your, your disability. Like it’s never too early to prepare. And so I, um, reached out, I write, what was his name? I can’t remember. Anyway, the veteran service office, um, there’s, they’re all over the place, reach out to them. They will actually do the paperwork for you. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and they will help you. It is, there’s so much paperwork. It is such a long process. It takes so many, much, um, it took me almost a year to get my VA discipline rating and I started seven months before I got out. So yeah, again, it’s never too early to prepare. And even in the military, they’re like, if you hurt yourself to just suck it up, right. Don’t be a big baby.

Kai Henderson (41:36):

Um, go to the doctor. If you hurt yourself, go to the doctor, go to your medical doctor on base or, or whatever, and cuz all of those injuries or, you know, whatever you’re going through, it adds up on your disability and you’ve earned it. You know, if you you’ve injured yourself, say something. Um, and it kind of goes back into self care a little bit. Like if, you know, something happens to you, like it’s okay to take care of yourself. And with mine, I, um, I claimed I over 37 things online and most people only put like five or so on their disability claim. But what’s important is that you’re putting everything that’s happened to you. And some things you won’t get a rating for or some things they’ll give you zero for. Um, but what’s important is that it’s documented is so important documentation with the VA. So yeah, it start a minimum of six months before you get out, if you can. Um, and if not, that’s okay too. Um, just reach out to your veteran service office, it’s local to you and they can help you get started.

Mary Kate Soliva (42:38):

Yes. And for free, I mean all capital letters, F R E E right.

Kai Henderson (42:43):

It’s free.

Mary Kate Soliva (42:43):

So it’s money that you’re leaving on the table without. And, and I really appreciate that. You said you’ve earned this, you’ve earned it. You deserve it. You, you, you raised your right hand. You take advantage of the help, uh, from the veteran service organizations from your rep representatives and get that help to file your claim. And even if you haven’t now, uh, I have a dear friend of mine, Vietnam veteran. He didn’t file his claim. He, he finally got his rating in 2016 and he fought in, in Vietnam. So it just is a goes to show that if you don’t have your claim, that there’s still resources for you to file now so that you can get well, you and your family deserve for that. And so really that self care piece. So thank you for sharing and touching on that mental health. Again, it’s not an easy topic.

Mary Kate Soliva (43:42):

It’s not a pleasant topic even over dinner, but it’s something that’s very important to talk about. And for those who feel like they’re struggling alone to just know that you’re not alone. And I think one of the things with the Miller that I love, we, we talk about one of the top things that people miss is the camaraderie. Uh, but we really reference one another as brothers and SI sisters. I, I, and I have veteran sisters that I’ve never actually met in person, but this world that we’re living in, where I can just have a zoom session or have this virtual, like we’re doing now to be able to reach out and check in on one another, get to know one another. And they’re, they’ve just been so such an important part of my transition into the civilian side of the thing. So really value that. Um, I, I wanted to, to see if there was anything else that you’d like to share. Uh, I know we’re about coming to a close today, but I really wanted to you, you shared so many golden nuggets today with us, Kai. I really appreciate that. But was there anything that you wanted to leave our listeners with today?

Kai Henderson (44:51):

Uh, I would say just keep investing in yourself, you’re worth it and you deserve it. You know, growing up, I, I was taught kind of, I wasn’t enough, you know, and it took me a long time to find myself worth. And I just, you know, I wonder like if I could have invested in myself a little bit sooner, how far would I be now? And I’m, I’m very happy with where I am, but you know, just if you get an opportunity to invest in yourself, whether it’s your physical health or mental health or financial health, any aspect, do it

Mary Kate Soliva (45:21):

Love that really love that. Uh, so for our listeners today, invest in yourself, you’re worth it. Uh, know that you’re not alone. You got two veteran is I just say two disabled veterans here that are just talking about, I sometimes say about, I feel like Mrs. Potato had like, I’m just gonna have to pull a limb off and, you know, trade it in for something else. But I, I mean, I’m very, very grateful for the support that I have received. It’s sounds like you’ve had incredible, uh, mentors, a along the way in your journey. So our listeners want to hear more about you and your incredible journey. What’s the best way that they can reach, reach you.

Kai Henderson (46:02):

So I’m on LinkedIn. I’m always set me up there and I’m also on Bera as a mentor. So, um, you know, look me up and look, I’m meeting with me. I’d be more than happy to talk with any of you

Mary Kate Soliva (46:12):

Be that sounds awfully familiar. Kai was like a little bit about where you and I met.

Kai Henderson (46:18):

Yes. Yeah. We met there. Yeah. And I I’ve made some amazing connections there. There’s such a, a vast amount of people on berate from different backgrounds and different experience. So if you haven’t checked it out, um, go check it out. It’s, it’s very, um, rewarding.

Mary Kate Soliva (46:33):

Yes. And, and for our listeners who may not know about Vetro, it’s a free resource available, uh, to our community that you can sign up for a mentor. You can, you can register as a mentee and then you can see this vast database of mentors that are volunteering their time to have a conversation with you. This system will connect you for about a one hour call and you can just go take the conversation from there. You can read a little bit about their bios, uh, where they’re from their background and they’re from a vast number of industries. So I’m sure that somebody out there on Erra. So thank you, Kai, for being able to, for lending, uh, your support there, signing up. Cuz I think when we just initially spoke, you weren’t sign up as a mentor and I was like sign up for as a mentor. Cause even if you’ve only done one contract, you have learned so many lessons during your journey, a transition that you already have a wealth of knowledge to share with those coming behind you. So I really appreciate you taking the time to join us today, Kai.

Kai Henderson (47:35):

Yeah. Thank you for having me it’s honor to be here.

Mary Kate Soliva (47:38):

Yes. And on behalf of the entire team here at veteran voices, thank you for tuning in today. We invite you to find us and subscribe wherever you get your podcast from big thanks to our partners, my faves vets industry@bestindustry.org. And th this is Mary Kay saliva wishing all of our listeners an incredible day and nothing but the best stay motivated. Do good, give forward and be the change that’s needed. And on that note, we’ll see you next time. Thanks. Every everybody take care.